Letters to Santa
by maximumridetothemax
Summary: Christmas is coming up for us and the Flock! What will each of the flock members write on a letter to the infamous Santa Claus? WARNING: CONFUSING AND STUPID SUMMARY AND CONTAINS SPOILERS.
1. Max- Angel Experiment

**So, since Christmas is coming up and I feel like it, I have decided to write a Christmas one-shot! Well, technically an eight shot, but who cares? Anyway, I'm doing a letter from each of the flock to… SANTA! I''m also doing Dylan (maybe) and (maybe) Total. So, let's begin, starting with our Maxiepoo! :) Oh yeah, and the letters are going to be based off the books (Example: Letter 1- Angel Experiment; Letter 2- School's Out- Forever; etc.). You'll get it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride nor Christmas nor Santa. But I do own my letter to Santa. My presents, not yours. Jkjk- never mind, they're mine.**

Letter #1: Max in the Angel Experiment

Dear Santa,

Hey. No whitecoats and evil dudes would be awesome. But I bet since you're a little bit chubby (maybe you should hold off some of those cookies?) they'll kill you and nobody will be in the Christmas spirit and since I'm not that mean (shut up Iggy), I'll ask for something else. Well, let me think. I guess first of all I would like a new pair of jeans. The last pair is now… well… shredded. From those stingy Erasers, I mean. Maybe you should send them some nail filers or something. Well, I guess that's all… oh yeah! Go tell Jeb to go stick his head in a blender. That would really make my day. And maybe you could also send me some cookies if you're thinking about a diet. Hold off the rat flavor please for Nudge. (Maybe you can get them from Dr. Martinez; her cookies are amazing (though I bet you would already know))

Thanks,

Maximum Ride (call me anything besides Max and I'll kill you before the whitecoats get to you.)

(P.S. don't find our house; it's kind of destroyed (says Iggy). We'll find you, k?)

(P.S.S. Please do not give Iggy any explosives this Christmas, please. Please. He already has enough.)

**R&R?**


	2. Fang- School's Out - Forever

**Yeah, I updated pretty quick! Mostly because each chapter is less than 500 words, but oh well. Anyway, on to ze letter! Now, from Fang and School's Out- Forever.**

**Disclaimer: Must I repeat this? IdonotownMaximumRideoritscharacters. There. Caught that? No? Too bad.**

Letter #2: Fang in School's Out- Forever

Hey Santa.

I kissed a girl and I liked it, the very taste of her cherry chap stick. Ok, that's not very accurate. Actually, the girl kissed me and I did not like it. And I think her chap stick was more lipstick. Of course, Max does not seem to realize that and will not listen to anything I say (even though she also kissed that jerk Sam), being the strong willed girl she is. Which comes in handy sometime, though not this time. Anyway, for Christmas I would like it if you gave me some power to somehow get her to get over it. Somehow. Good luck trying to find how. If not, just give me a new laptop (black por favor) so I can write my blog without the computer crashing every five minutes.

Fly on,

Fang

(P.S. I just realized I just told my secret thoughts to some fat (sorry dude) guy I haven't even met personally. I feel really unFanglike.)

(P.S.S.S. FNANG HAKS BRNEN A VERYYY BAFD CHIL0D- sorry. That was Iggy.)

**R&R?**


	3. Iggy- StWaOES

** One week till Christmas, and once again, I am updating! Now it's time for Iggy, our pyro! Now this'll be fun to write. Well, on to the letter!**

**Disclaimer: Maximum Ride is not my property. It's not a house either.**

Letter #3: Iggy in Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Dear Santa baby,

Heyyyyy! I would reallyyyy ike it if you sent me some more explosives. Like, a real tank. Or maybe some hurricane- proof glass. It would be nice to keep justtttt in case a hurricane comes and we're stuck inside a building with some crazy dude and his really monotonous assistant whose name sounds like a type of dumpling Nudge likes. **(AN: btw, this is the Final Warning not the third book just so you know) **Oh oh, and try and get me a new frying pan. After Max 2 left, Max immediately tried to cook something… the frying pan died a noble death. I would also like beach bunny. Or a French girl. (Max didn't bring me one :'( ) Well, byeeee darling! *winks*

Your gay (happy) lover,

Iggy

**R&R?**


	4. Nudge- The Final Warning

**6 days to Christmas! Aren't you a lucky bunch? Another chapter! Well, this one is Nudge and I'll try and blab for as long as possible (aka when dinner is ready). Thanks for all the reviews and, to read stripes, I'm not trying to make fun of gays (in fact, I'm friends with a lot of them) but it just seems to be an Iggy thing to say, you know? Anyway, let's begin! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. Or Christmas. But I DO own the presents (that are for me) unda ze Christmas tree!**

Letter 4: Nudge in The Final Warning

Dear Santa,

Hi! This Christmas I would really like some new clothes. Do you think you could get me some more shoes too? No high heels though since they're hard to fly in, according to Max. Actually, I've never worn heels while flying. Only tennis shoes and sandals and stuff. Do you know what it's like? I bet you don't though, first of all since you can't fly (but you fly in the sky!), but also since you're a guy. And guys don't wear heels. Well, actually guys to wear heels if they lived a long time ago. Did you know heels actually were made for some king or something? Yeah. It was a _guy_. I guess they don't really need to be any taller though, so they just gave them to girls. I think it'd be funny to see Fang in heels. They'd have to be black with no other colors, too. Don't tell him this, but I think he might be colorblind or something. Like Iggy. Though Iggy can't see with his eyes unless it's white. Either way, just no heels. I also want some chocolate. Make sure it isn't "rat- flavored" though. I don't like rats. _At all_. One time, Fang said that we were going to eat rats and I freaked out. I mean who wouldn't? Well, maybe Max but that's just because she's Max and Max doesn't freak out. Then again, she freaked out when Angel was taken by the School. Then again, who didn't? I just said "then again" twice didn't I? That's a weird term. I don't like English. Maybe I should learn French or something. Like, hola or something. Oh wait, Max just said that's Spanish. We went to France, but I don't know if we've been to Mexico. I bet we have. We've gone to a lot of places. I remember one time we went to Germany and got caught by evil dudes. Yeah, not the most fun experience. Well, this time we went to Antarctica (yeah we've also been there. It was cold.) and got captured by some dude who had a name like a Japanese dumpling. It's actually Gozen, but I thought it was gyoza. They sound the same. And his boss or something was this dude who was basically a bunch of boxes full of mysterious liquid. Pretty disgusting, right? Well, we almost got auctioned but then a hurricane hit and we went "whoosh" out the building just like that. Not really. But we were pretty much thrown out. We get thrown out of nearly everywhere, come to think of it. One time we were trying to shoplift underwear from Walmart, and the manager caught us so we had to run before we were thrown out. Anyway, Max says that you probably would have fallen asleep multiple times before you finished this letter, so I should better stop. So I guess I'll talk to you next year and hope you get me some new shoes!

Peace, love, and happiness,

Nudge

**R&R?**


	5. Gazzy- MAX

**Next chapter (since it's really short)! So, this time it's our oh so clean smelling Gazzy with Max (the book)! Now won't this be fun (for me)? :) Well, hope you enjoy Gazzy's letter to Santa!**

**Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Maximum Ride. I mean, who am I? James Patterson? Of course not. First of all, I'm not a guy. Second of all, I don't like in Florida (even though I live in the southern United States). Third of all, I can't write well.**

Letter #5: Gazzy in Max (ok that's just a little bit…)

Dear Santa,

For Christmas, I woold really like to get more food. Like hot dogs. I would also like some Febreeze that I can give Max and the rest for there own Christmas present from me. Tank you.

Your fart-master,

The Gasman (Gazzy)

**R&R?**


	6. Angel- FANG

**OMGOMGOMG (say it with me now) CHRISTMAS WAS YESTERDAY! Well, as your (late) present (and I know everyone's happy about it), here's Angel's letter to Santa! Of course, she's in Fang. *evil grin***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride and I do believe nobody reading this does either (unless your JP which I seriously doubt).**

Letter #6: Angel in Fang (ok, now that's even weirder)

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas, I will not ask for the multitude of toys that I ask for each year. Instead, I would especially like for Fang to come back despite the letter he left behind telling us that he went to protect the rest of us. I really regret becoming leader (not really) and I really want him to come back for Christmas even if he didn't want to come back so he won't feel sad. But I think we all know that we all were sobbing and crying while he ran away after Total's wedding with Akila and probably didn't even shed a tear. So if he really loves us, then he should come back instead of "being a lousy wimp who runs away," according to Max. Basically, all I want for Christmas is the entire flock to be together again. Please? *Bambi eyes*

With wings,

Angel

**Now wasn't that cute? It nearly made me cry. Never mind, I am crying. Every time I talk about "the letter" I cry. It gets kinda annoying when you burst into tears during "silent reading" and the entire class stares at you like you're an idiot. Which I guess I am. Anyway, R&R?**


End file.
